Reluctant Hearts
by Spring Emerald
Summary: Attraction can either lead to love or to lust... which path will it take? 'This is HIS entire fault! If he hadn't let me fall for him this hard I...' Read and Review guys!
1. Chapter 1: Prologue:Attraction

Hey guys, I'm back

**Hey guys, I'm back!**

**To those who were able to read my another fic, "When your mad" thank you!**

**To those who haven't, please do. Anyway, I'm here with another fanfic featuring my favorite pairing… Ruka and Hotaru.**

**Here's Reluctant Hearts.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice, but if I did…I guess it's better of with Taguchi…**

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**Chapter 1: Prologue**

Fatal Attraction,

That's where it all started.

At first, it was alright to her. At least she's normal, being attracted to a guy- a handsome one for that matter.

She would always tell herself that it's just attraction, nothing more, nothing less. But as the days pass by, the more she denies it, the more she's losing control. The more that he's close to her, the more she's tempted.

DARN IT!

She's supposed to be the smart one, the cool and composed one, the unfeeling one and she's always and will be the one in control. But what's happening to her, she doesn't want to know.

All she knows is that she shouldn't be feeling this way and that she should be the Ice Queen.

Hotaru Imai should always be like that.

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Harmless Attraction,

That's where it all started.

At first he detested it. He really did. How can he be attracted to someone like her? Yes, he knows he was attracted to her best friend, her polar opposite, but now, he's falling deeper and deeper for her.

At least, I'm normal, he would tell himself. I'm not attracted to a guy or to one of my fan girls. She's beautiful, yes, but it's her personality that drew him. The more he's close to her, the more he's enticed. The more he's with her, the more he's sure of his feelings.

He's definitely aware of what he feels for her, and he likes it. She's his indirect best friend, though she's there to annoy and irritate him, the fact that she's there, makes it all worthwhile.

With his gentle ways, he'll break the hard clam, covering a beautiful and rare pearl.

Ruka Nogi will always be like that.

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Fatal Attraction is different from love, for it often leads to lust.

Harmless Attraction is as different as well, yet it oftentimes, leads to love.

Different

Dangerous

Dear

What will prevail?


	2. Chapter 2: Temptation

Hey

**Hey!**

**I'm back with the 2****nd**** chapter of three of my story "Reluctant Hearts".**

**I would like to thank the following people:**

**Nicole, dominiqueanne, tamahits, '-Mini-Rai-', Ninjah Keewi, XxblackwingsxX.**

**Thanks for your reviews and because of that, I was inspired to update.**

**By the way, I wasn't able to point out that this fic is only three chapters long. So hope you enjoy reading the 2****nd**** chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I come in peace…**

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**Chapter 2: Temptation**

"_**I can feel you all around me, Thickening the air I'm breathing,**_

_**Holding onto what I'm feeling, Savoring this heart that's healing…"**_

** All around me-Flyleaf**

"Ok class, be ready, P.E's up next and we're going to have-tantananan- Swimming. Girls will have their lessons first while the guys take their lunch. And after the girls finished, they'll give way to the guys and they'll take their lunch." Mr. Narumi announced, which in turn made the room noisy because of complaining wails of the guys.

"But, sir," Mochu raised his hand. "Why do we have to take the lesson in different schedules?" He asked and was second motioned by the other guys with "Yeah!", with an exception of Natsume and Ruka, of course.

"Oh, the faculty decided that it would be better if you have different schedules in order to avoid…um… situations." The blonde teacher explained.

"Yeah, especially with those dirty minds of yours, we can't have our lessons in peace." Blame Sumire for her non-stop babbling.

"As if you're body is what I want to look at. Stop dreaming will ya?"

Mochu said with a smug and triumphant smirk. The guys laughed, which embarrassed Permy more.

"Shut up!" Sumire said looking awfully hurt.

"Class, calm down." We can't do anything about it. So I suggest that we just follow to avoid anymore complications. Girls, I give you 15 minutes to prepare. Meet me at the pool, ok? Adieu." The teacher bid goodbye to the students as they filed up outside.

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**Fast Forward: Guy's lessons**

"Now, let me see how much you've improved compared to last week. We're going to have a friendly competition and I tell you, be serious about it for it will serve as your recitation for today. Who wants to volunteer?" Narumi looked expectantly at the guys but either of them were grief stricken, sweat dropping or just not caring at all.

He sighed. "Since no one wants to volunteer, I'll just have to select. Let's have Yuu…and…Ruka! Come on guys, this is graded."

Without ado, they positioned themselves at the poolside, and with the whistle signal, they jumped off and swim with all their might. In the end, Ruka emerged as the victor. Unbeknownst to all of them, a pair of eyes was watching his every move, from the moment he jumped, up to the moment he emerged from the pool, all wet yet hot and looking really handsome-the person subconsciously bit its lower lip and had a glint of lust and mischief in its eyes.

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**Fast Forward: Boys locker room**

"That was good work, you two." Yuu said to Ruka and Natsume, as he was changing back to his uniform.

"Thanks." Ruka answered. "But still, Natsume's better, defeating almost all the guys." He continued.

"It's because they were depressed." The subject said while buttoning his polo.

"You would've still beaten the crap out of them even if they weren't depressed. Anyway, I'll go ahead now." Yuu said the left.

"You can go ahead as well Natsume. I'll be going to the barn to feed the animals. You don't have to wait for me." Ruka said, as he was just drying his hair.

"Right. Bye." The Fire-caster slash best friend said and left.

When Ruka was sure that he was all alone, he sighed.

'Still better, huh?' he thought as he was to put on his polo, when the door opened.

"Left something?" he asked thinking it was Natsume but when he looked, he was surprised and blushed immediately.

"I-Imai? What are you doing here? This is the…uh…" The boy groaned as he was pushed harshly by Hotaru. His polo lying on the floor, forgotten as he felt the room get hotter.

"Imai, you must…" but he wasn't able to finish as he felt her delicate hands over his bare, well built and chiseled chest which made him blush deeper. Besides that, she was murmuring something, but wasn't able to decipher it.

"What are you doing to me?" Hotaru said louder "Why am I? Why?" she said, still caressing Ruka's chest. Ruka was able to feel a hint of confusion and sadness in her voice.

That was when he realized that something is wrong with her. She's not herself at all. The Hotaru Imai he knows thinks before she acts and most of all, she wouldn't ambush him when he's in the locker room. It'll be like when pigs are able to fly. Yet, there's this part of him that was eager to touch her, to feel her but for some reason, he was afraid to do so. He was feeling that she might break, fall into pieces even with just a soft touch. He blushed, deeper yet again as he felt her hands fondling his belt.

But a sudden knock made Hotaru stop and back away from him. It surprised him as well, but what shocked him was the look on her eyes. The beautiful violet orbs that he admired that used to be void of all emotions, has manifested trouble, confusion and mixed feelings of loneliness, anger and…is that…lust?

"What's happening to me?" she said looking at her hands and talking like a mad person who just committed an unforgivable crime.

"Is someone in there?" a voice of a robot said, coming from the other side of the door.

"Ho-Hotaru?" Ruka choked out as he attempted to touch her, but she ran towards the door, opened it, accidentally pushed the robot maid and escaped as fast as she can.

Ruka went after her, but she was already gone.

"Hotaru, what's happening to you?"

TBC

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**Hiya!**

**Hope you enjoy the semi-steamy chapter I've got.**

**The opening lines came from the song "All around me" by Flyleaf. I just felt that that is how Hotaru exactly feels.**

**Honestly, this was supposed to be a Rated M fic but, blame my conscience, I can't bring myself to do so, but still, I'm happy with the result. Please support it.**

**Keep reading and be inspired always guys.**

**By the way, I would like to ask you guys, if you think my writing style had changed over the time I was away. Just want to know your opinion. It would really mean a lot.**

**I guess that's all.**

**Don't forget to review.**

**Please do support my other fics, if you still haven't read it.**

**See you til' next chapter!**

**Spring Emerald**


	3. Chapter 3: Confusion

**Hey guys, I'm back!**

**It's been a long time…**

**Anyway, here's the third installment of this story. And, it's not yet the end!**

**Yipee!**

**Well, I won't keep you from reading this fic with my senseless rambles.**

**Enjoy!**

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

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**Chapter 3: Confusion**

'**My mind is gone; I'm spinning 'round, and deep inside, my tears, I'll drown…'**

The way back to the dormitory seemed very long for Ruka. He wasn't in the mood to attend his next class so he decided to skip. What happened to the bright sun that was shining a while ago? To the dried rustling leaves on the ground, and the birds merrily chirping?

He doesn't know, and he doesn't want to care.

His mind clouded with his perplexed thoughts about himself, and most especially, about her. Hotaru.

What happened back there was something he definitely needs to know. It won't give him any peace, none at all, because it involves her. The one he loves. The one he's willing to sacrifice everything for, the one who holds his heart and has the power to break it.

He needs someone to talk to, someone who's sensible enough to answer his stupid questions; someone…someone who can read minds.

Immediately, he sprinted his way back to their room.

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'**I'm losing grip, what's happening. I stray from love this is how I feel.'**

Her room suddenly felt cold, small and lonely. She never gave any attention to it before. All she cared about was that she had a room and a nice comfortable bed where she could rest after a very long and exhausting day.

But today was different.

Her inventions were in a messy state of disarray, lying scattered on the floor, didn't give her much interest now. Her cold demeanor emanating gloomily, even she can feel, giving her the chills. Ironic, the Ice Queen, feeling cold.

And for the first time in her life, she wished that she was with someone but ironically yet again, she needed to be alone, badly.

After the locker room incident, she ran like a lunatic back to their room to tell Mikan that she doesn't feel well and would skip the remaining classes for the day. Mikan, being not so dense anymore, didn't ask for any explanations. She just advised her to take it slow and feel well soon.

How she wished Mikan insisted to ask her what's bothering her. How she wished Mikan was nosy enough to pry on her life and what's going wrong about it.

But she didn't.

She stood up from her bed, wearily. She needs a warm bath.

'No. Not warm. It will not suffice.' She thought to herself.

She dragged herself, and went inside the bathroom and into the tub without bothering to take her uniform off. She closed her eyes and waited until the cold water soaked her clothes, and she let herself be drowned.

In the cold tub water.

In the wavering, numbing sensation creeping in her now even pale skin until it reached her insides.

In the pool of loneliness and extreme confusion.

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**Short. I know. But please don't sue me…**

**Next chapter will be up soon, so keep an eye on it.**

**I would be glad if I receive some good old lovin' through your reviews.**

**Till next chapter,**

**Spring Emerald**


	4. Chapter 4:Trepidation

**Hey guys! **

**I'm back with the fourth chapter of Reluctant Hearts!**

**By the way, thanks to this people that inspired me to write this chapter:**

**enemrizza****, kisa-bun, ****Ninjah Keewi****, ****Nils****, ****Dark-Lady-Hel****…**

**So now, here's the story. Enjoy and don't forget to review, okay?**

**Standard disclaimers apply, as usual…**

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**Chapter 4: Trepidation**

**Hotaru's POV**

A blinding light seared my eyes as I opened them. Huh? Where am I? The last thing I can remember was the cold water filling my lungs. And speaking of lungs, ugh… it hurts. It feels so hollow. I tried to touch my chest, to see if it's still there, but soft warm hands prevented me to do so. That was when I became aware of my surroundings. The undisguised gasps, the humming noises, the bright, different shades of questioning eyes, all boring into mine, as my eyes adjusted to see their faces. It felt very uncomfortable. It's like I'm a science experiment gone wrong, or something that merits a strict examination under a microscope.

Uneasy feeling, I don't like it.

"Hotaru…" a sweet voice interrupted my stupor as I looked at her, chocolate brown eyes, full of questions and worry.

"Mi-ikan…" I said. Wrong move. Not only did my voice sounded so hoarse, my lungs contracted painfully in my chest.

"Hotaru, thank goodness, you're alive! Don't do that to me again… it shortened my lifespan. I thought I was walking through a real horror story. I was only brave and worried enough to take a closer look. Why did you do that anyway?" She said, not even giving any consideration that I just woke up, and probably didn't understand half of what she was saying and that my body feels so heavy and sore and... what is she talking about?

"What are you talking about?" I voiced out, ignoring the ugly hoarseness and painful contraction.

Her already questioning face turned into a more clueless one.

"You mean… you don't know what happened?" She said, uncertainty lacing her tone.

"Would I ask you if I did?" Duh?! I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, though that would be the least excruciating thing to do, as I heard someone snort. Mikan seemed to ignore it since she never took her eyes from me.

"Hotaru, I don't know how to say this…but, you're here because we found you drowning in your tub, yesterday afternoon." She said seriously. I blinked.

Why would I drown myself? I'm not a lunatic to do that…I'm not crazy…I…shrugged those thoughts away mentally (it hurts to do it physically, every inch of my body feels really, really sore.) Unable to comprehend, I asked her.

"Drowning? Why would I drown myself?" Now it really hurts to talk.

"You don't remember anything? Anything before that?" she asked.

"I- I think I know what you're talking about…" Then the events of last night came flooding back to my mind, overwhelming me.

"I was only taking a shower." _Or at least that's what I intended to do._ "I'm not planning on drowning, much more in killing myself, if that's what you're thinking." I said, fully remembering everything, even the events that happened before that which caused my heart to skip a beat, in a bad way.

Then, I felt angry. This is HIS entire fault. If he hadn't let me fall for him this hard, I wouldn't be in here, lying in this sickening white hospital bed, trying to explain to this stupid people that I didn't drown myself out of something so crazy. Heck, I wouldn't feel so depressed in the first place!Suddenly, I felt the impulse to shoot him with my BAKA gun endlessly, but my body refused and withdrawn in agony. I must have whimpered in this for Mikan slightly tightened her hold on my hand.

"Are you alright, Hotaru?" she asked, so concerned. I took this as an opportunity to gain an excuse.

"Yes, Mikan, it's just that…I want to rest. Can you please ask the others to leave?" I said all complete with the tired, weary eyes and now rasping voice.

She smiled. "Of course Hotaru, that's the least we could do." She said, then kissed my forehead and gave my hand a little squeeze. "Rest well." She whispered before turning back and grabbed Natsume's hand while talking to the others. Slowly, after they said their 'Get well soon' remarks, with an exception of Natsume who just nodded, they dispersed, and I was left again, in this deserted room with white washed walls, with no other sound beside my obvious struggle to breathe properly.

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**Normal POV**

"Doctor, what happened to Hotaru?" Mikan asked as she was walking down the hospital hallway with Natsume and Hotaru's attending physician.

"Ah…Ms. Sakura, I believe that your friend momentarily suffered GAD-General Anxiety Disorder. Though, in her case, it's not really clear as to what caused her to experience this since she didn't manifest the symptoms of the said disorder." He said.

"An anxiety disorder with an unknown cause? Can't you think of any? At least give us some explanation." Mikan insisted.

"There are different factors affecting the psychological being of a person, but, I think in Ms. Imai's case, it may be caused by too much thinking. She must be pressured and stressed because of all the work she has to do, although that's only a probability. You also said that she's a very private person. She doesn't have an outlet, where she can vent out all her frustrations or other things that's bothering her." The doctor explained.

"But what about her inventions, aren't those good enough to be her outlet?" It was Natsume who asked the question.

"That can be a good outlet, but that doesn't always give us the comfort that we people generally need. We need a person, someone that would listen to us and sympathize with us. Those machines-whether they can talk or do chores, are still machines and mere objects. This problem, may not just be psychological, but as well as emotional. Keep in mind though; this is all just probability, since we never really know what happened to her." He said, having put his diagnosis board down.

"Well, that's all we want to know, thank you doctor." Natsume said at the same time grabbed Mikan's hand and pulling her.

"Thank you, doctor. Please take care of Hotaru." Mikan said, looking back to the kind man.

"I most certainly will, Ms. Sakura."

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"Hey, Polka" Natsume started.

"Don't call me that." Mikan pouted, and crossed her arms in her chest.

Natsume ignored her retort and continued. "I don't think what happened to Imai is because of the pressure. I mean, she's been doing this for almost six years, and we haven't seen her breakdown or go through any sickness." He looked at her.

"Are you trying to say that there's something more?" she asked.

"Yeah, I believe so. She can always cope up with strenuous jobs, but this is really unusual for her. If it is so, then why only now?" he pointed out.

"I can see your point, but what might the reason be?"

"That, Polka, still remains to be a mystery."

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**Wow!**

**I'm fishing this fic as soon as I could since I won't be visible for the coming months because I'm entering college! Yipee!**

**Two more chapters and it will be the end…**

**Anxious to find out what happens next, well, that depends on your reviews!**

**Anyway, stay safe guys! Please review!**

**Till next chapter,**

**Spring Emerald**


	5. Chapter 5: Insinuation

**Hiya! Here's the fifth chapter. So sorry for the long wait…**

**By the way, I would like to thank these wonderful people who reviewed this story:**

**Kisa-bun****: Thank you! Here's the update you've been waiting for...I hope…**

**Ninjah Keewi****: Thank you! This chapter is about Ruka, and this will tell you that he really does care about Hotaru.**

**Courting Torment****: Thank you! Sorry for the short chapters…_ but I'm trying to write and make it a little longer, but I hope that doesn't stop you from reading my story.**

**windlady****: Mah friend! Oh come on, you're making me blush…Thank you so much!**

**Real Heroes Never Die****: Thank you! That sounds so cool.*laughs***

**enemrizza****: Thank you! Wish me luck!**

**Dark-Lady-Hel****: Thank you! Not really… I don't want to be the one who'll kill Hotaru…Yeah, I know, but like what I said to C.T. *points above* I hope it doesn't stop you from reading my fic.**

**crimsonjica****: Thank you! Exciting, really? Well, let's make it more exciting, shall we?**

**And also, big thanks to the readers who alerted and favorite-d this story…you'll all be handsomely rewarded…hahahahaha…**

**You might find this chapter boring, since there's no fluff in it or anything, but I promise you the sweet fluff you've all been waiting for will be in the last chapter.**

**Standard disclaimers apply…as usual.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 5: Insinuation**

Ruka was quietly lying on the grass patched ground as he stared idly at the dark blue sky. The soft murmuring of the leaves, swaying together with the chilly breeze and the tiny chirping of the night birds was enough to give him a little peace of mind he needed at the moment.

He went as far away as he can from the civilization in the academy. He wants to be alone because wants to contemplate on the things that were bugging him for a long while now. So he went to the Northern forest and there found solitude. Though what he got was more questions rather than answers, he was almost satisfied but it didn't really give much. He closed his eyes and sighed as he remembered the happenings of this day.

**FLASHBACK…**

To say that Koko was surprised when Ruka hastily knocked on his door and when he opened it, saw him completely worn out; hands on his knees and catching his breath would be an overstatement. He expected something like this to happen. He just didn't know that it will take him this long to show up on his doorsteps and approach him to ask questions only a mind reader can answer.

"I need yo…" Ruka said breathlessly but Koko beat him to it.

"I know." He said in a serious tone, then cracked a smile and continued. "Why don't you come in for a while?" Koko asked. Tired and thirsty as he was, Ruka obliged.

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Ruka was seated on a wooden chair situated at the right corner of Koko's unusually spacious first star room, as he watched the guy prepare some snacks. After sometime, Koko placed a tray on the coffee table between them and sat opposite Ruka. Ruka raised an eyebrow which made Koko stammer.

"Don't get the wrong idea, dude. I'm straight." He said uncomfortably. "It's just that, an ambience of relaxation and casualness is fundamental especially in this kind of situation." He explained, taking a sip from his orange juice.

Ruka smiled as he helped himself with what seemed to be a blueberry muffin when he tasted. He can't help thinking that it was delicious and wondered quietly if Anna made it, while munching the muffin.

"Yup, delicious aren't they? Sweet little things…" Koko said affectionately as he as well took a bite on one, and this made Ruka forget his comment about him earlier. "Anyway," he started. "Care to tell me why were you banging my door a few moments ago?" He said, though he really didn't have to ask. Ruka caught this one.

"Should you really be asking that?" he looked at him with a half smile that didn't reach his wistful eyes.

"Well, I don't want to be ahead of you. I want to hear how things are going in your point of view." He paused to take a sip again. "But if you're so eager to know what my answer will be, then I'll give it to you right away, though it would be almost useless and won't be of much help, since I won't give you the whole information." Koko said calmly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ruka asked placing the remaining half of the muffin down, eyebrows narrowing. He wants answers and he didn't like the sound of Koko's words.

"Ruka, please understand, though I have the liberty to read your thoughts, it doesn't give me the freedom to expose it. I believe in privacy you know." He explained as he finished his muffin. Ruka couldn't argue, since Koko was right. He sighed then shoved the muffin into his mouth, might as well tell his side of the story.

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Koko was half amused and half anxious while Ruka was telling his side. Amused because there are some details that he doesn't even know that Ruka willingly opened up to him; Anxious because Ruka and Hotaru's feelings are directing completely different from each other. As Ruka was remembering things, he was having a recollection of Hotaru's thoughts on his own. He figured that he could give Ruka more answers rather than more riddles to solve, but the more he compares their sides the more he is limited of what to give.

He never expected things to be this hard. As much as he wants to help them, he can't shrug off the feeling of guilt if he decides to open his big fat mouth and interferes with them. Nope, things might just get worse, not only for them, but also for him. He doesn't want to face Natsume and Mikan's wrath if they find out that he hurt their best friends. Talk about being over protective. He was confidently sure though that what Ruka feels for Hotaru is real love, but Hotaru, who is having a difficulty accepting her feelings, he doubts. This didn't give Koko much comfort.

One exciting privilege that his Mind Reading Alice offers is that he gets to explore different kinds of minds and personality. Hotaru was undeniably one of a kind. She maybe careful and certain of what she says but she definitely is reckless when it comes to her thoughts. No matter how hard she might try to conceal it, her thoughts always exposes her itself on its own. Because of this, he gets to see (and hear) the side of her that somebody would use to blackmail her, but if her thoughts trail of to something dangerous (like when she feels someone is reading her mind and plans to 'talk' to that person, in which he gulps and try not to think about her thoughts) he thought otherwise.

Seriously, he's getting worried. Not because he might be caught red handed (enjoying) reading her thoughts and be pummeled into nothingness if that happens, but the effects on her of the things she's thinking about. Never in his life had he's seen someone wreck her mind like this. Everything is far from 'her'- from her normal thinking, from her normal bouts of annoying remarks which she never had the care to say out loud, from her normal whining (yes, she whines, deliberately) and complaining. This kind of thinking about a certain blonde is almost destroying her, its too bad for her and his sanity. He wouldn't be wondering if Hotaru decides to kill herself in the most painful way possible, since that also would be an option for him if he was in her shoes.

He snapped out of dark trance when Ruka called out to him rather nervously, since he saw Koko was spacing out with a very sullen expression on his face.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Koko stared blankly at him fro a moment before realization dawned on him. Damn, who knew Hotaru could affect his mind like this? He blinked several times and cleared his throat.

"Are you finished?" he asked while straightening his back on his seat.

"Yes. So what do you think?" Ruka looked at him expectantly. So expectant that he was already gripping the sides of the table, which shook along with him as he inched towards Koko.

"First things first" Koko replied. "I usually say this to all those who come to me for help; Communication is necessary for two ends to meet. It's practically the best solution if you want to sort things out." He was looking at Ruka with convincing eyes, which made the latter nod.

"I want to give you more answers, honestly, but there are only few that I could say." He said then heaved a retired sigh.

"What is it?" Ruka started trembling, whether from excitement or apprehension, he doesn't know.

"You don't know what you're doing to her. You don't know how intense your effect is on her." Koko said finally, looking at Ruka straight in the eyes. Then he saw it, how Ruka's face went blank, showed disappointment, then weaved into confusion.

"What do you mean?" he said loudly, though it was in greater volume in his mind.

"I meant what I said." The mind reader said with unmistakable finality.

Ruka's face went blank again, the twisted into anger, as he grabbed Koko by the collar, the mere force of his standing caused his chair to fall back and the coffee table to shake again furiously.

"What do you mean that I don't know what I am doing to her?" he said vehemently, seizing Koko's collar more tightly. "Wha-what do you…SHE doesn't know the effect she has on me." He emphasized the word 'she' as he kept his hold on Koko's collar. "She doesn't..she…" Ruka couldn't even continue because words are not enough to describe who Hotaru is to him. As little reasoning returned to him to realize that Koko probably know that, so he just roughly pushed Koko away, which made the poor guy fall back on his chair.

Koko, who was still calm even after Ruka's rage, composed himself. He knew that something like this is bound to happen, he anticipated as much, but nevertheless stood his ground.

"Exactly, that's the point right?" he said.

Ruka who was clutching a handful of his blonde locks with maddening strength stopped though his hand didn't leave his hair and looked at Koko, only to find the guy smiling in spite of the recent argument.

"What point?" he asked dejectedly.

"She doesn't know what she's doing to you." Koko said. 'You are just about the same, yet still different.' He thought, and then said in a level voice again. "Isn't it about time to tell her what you feel?" He finished with a cheeky grin.

Ruka accepted the thought, but pondered as to how in the world he would do that.

"Oh, you'll come around, I'm sure." Koko said, with full trust, in the midst of the silence and disorganized clutter.

'Of course…' Ruka thought as he finally gave his hair some freedom when he took his hands off it, and placed it on his knees.

"Look man, I'm sorry. I was just so…" he said apologetically but Koko cut him, knowing already what he has to say.

"No prob." Said Koko in his usual self, "But you need to go on now. You need to think of unique ways to make her yours right? You still need to practice your cheesy lines." He jokingly said to Ruka, who now stood up and prepared to go out. The guy felt himself smile.

"You know what?" Ruka said as he turned back to Koko, "They should give you more credit. You know more than they do anyway." Koko chuckled at this.

"Yeah, you're right. Maybe I should start writing a petition to stop this unfair placement of mine. I'm overqualified to be just a first star." He said then winked and waved Ruka goodbye.

"Good luck man!" He called out to Ruka.

The latter turned back again, walking backwards. "Thank you!" He called out as well. Ruka felt a little lighter. Maybe talking to Koko wasn't such a bad idea after all.

**END FLASHBACK…**

Now, as the night turned darker and the wind got colder, all that was left to him was a strange small fire of hope inside him, that maybe, maybe, he doesn't really know what effect he has on Hotaru. That maybe Koko was right. And slowly, exhaustion took over him as he closed his eyes, the image of a certain raven haired girl that he loved the last image on his mind, before he drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**

* * *

**

Finished! Yay! Only one chapter to go!

**Please do read and review… lots and lots of love from you! Because if you won't I might just wallow up in sadness and won't be able to continue this story.**

**Just kidding! What kind of authoress am I if I did that! Please don't sue, not now!**

**Anyway, thank you everybody and see you on the next chapter!**

**Stay safe everyone! **

**Spring Emerald**


	6. Chapter 6: Conclusion

**Hello everyone. Finally here's the last chapter of Reluctant Hearts!**

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**Kisa-bun**

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**To those who alerted this story…namely**

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**Thank you very, very much. You served as my inspiration while I was writing this last chapter. Thank you so, so much. *bows***

**I won't keep you longer…here it goes…Sorry for any grammar mistakes and typos, if there's any, please kindly point it out...Thanks guys...**

**Standard disclaimers apply!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Conclusion**

_The bright morning sun brought a lot of opportunities that morning. Just take Natsume for example. This day is full of opportunities for him to tease his favorite girl Mikan. Doors of opportunities to stop Natsume from teasing her (which we all know would be futile) opened up as well. And of course, how could Imai Hotaru pass up this opportunity to blackmail the poor guy that we all know as Nogi Ruka?_

_"Imai!" Ruka shouted, as the birds quietly resting on the tree tops were disturbed and took flight thus creating a chaotic dancing of the leaves, fallen or not in the Northern Forest._

_"I swear, if you don't come back here, I'll…" he stopped midsentence to catch his breath. He is currently chasing the elusive blackmailer for the reason that we obviously know, by the means of riding a pretty ferocious horse._

_"You'll what, Nogi?" Hotaru taunted, through the megaphone that she held, as she turned slightly to look at him, smirk always present. She was a good ten meters away from her chaser, as she was also aboard a horse. Damn her inventions for not being of great help this time, which really pissed her off. Good thing, she took Equestrian as her P.E. elective during her last year in the elementary school. Though she would prefer rising her duck scooter than the said animal._

_Using only one hand, she tugged on the leash and made a full turn, quickly sweeping past Ruka, allowing him to have a glance of what the pictures were all about, which he never failed to see, thanks to his keen eyesight. It was a picture of him...milking a cow. It was part of his daily routine every morning. He helps the caretakers of the barn by doing something trivial like this, and to see how the animals are doing and, as usual, she is going to profit…again from his little goodwill._

_"I never thought you'd enjoy milking a cow." The blackmailer mocked more as she was enjoying the chase. Ruka gritted his teeth. This is too much! They're already in their first year in high school, for God's sake! Hasn't she grown out of her blackmailing thing yet? Isn't she tired of making her bank account big and fat with all the money she earned from selling his photos? Come to think of it, he ought to have a share. It was HIS photos that SHE was selling after all. It was all because of him that she gets to count and swim in all those God-knows-how-many-rabbits. But this isn't the time to be thinking about his share! He has his nth pride on the line that he's going to rescue from her again._

_With that, he huffed and made full turn as well. Unfortunately for him, fate wants to play a torturous trick on his horse friend, as an inconspicuous little snake slithered across their path which triumphantly scared and sent the horse on a rampage. It neighed noisily as it was trying to trample on the offending reptile. Ruka, who was holding the leash rather loosely, was thrown out into the air and had his back scraped on the trunk of the tree where he landed, three feet away from the commotion._

_Hotaru didn't miss the action. She pulled over as soon as she heard the horse and saw how it ran and left its master, wheezing and gasping for air, with some intentional flinches because of pain. Her seemingly cold eyes showed worry and a bit of guilt,as she immediately rushed to his side._

_The last thing that Ruka saw was her, mouth the words 'I'm sorry' before completely passing out._

_

* * *

_

_"For Christ's sake, Nogi, please stop moving."_

_This was the first sentence he heard from Hotaru after the incident or rather the accident that happened. They were on her lab, with her treating his wounds-the first thing she did as soon as he regained his consciousness. How did they get there, he doesn't want to ask, though he's curios to know. He busied himself keeping his temper in check, if ever he opened his mouth, he might say things that he knows he would regret later on even though he badly wants to snap at her. So, he just contented himself with gritting his teeth and emitting occasional groans brought about by the stinging pain on his back whenever the ointment touch it._

_"You know," she started, attention focused on the task. "You're lucky, no broken bones or internal damages, only a very bad case of abrasion." She said smugly._

_Really, how evil can this girl get? Instead of apologizing, she would rather talk about how lucky he was to be spared from that life threatening situation: As if he needed any reassurance! He just clenched his jaw and glared pointedly on the wall. 'Patience, Ruka…' he chanted in his mind._

_After sometime, the dabbing in his back stopped, without so much words passing between the two of them. Cool air rushed against his back which was warm because of the ointment, when she left momentarily and returned with some clean bandages._

_"Raise you arms, Nogi." She commanded in her whispery voice. He didn't budge. His only movement was the deep heaving of his chest and back because of hi breathing._

_Hotaru raised an eyebrow fro his lack of compliance. She should be yielded, especially when she's trying to be kind. She sighed. Being true to her nature of not repeating herself, she forcefully lifted Ruka's arms away from his side._

_"OUCH!" He yelped, as he placed his arms back down, and turned to her with a feisty glare. "What was that for?!"_

_She matched his glare evenly with her own. "If you did what you were told, you didn't have to get hurt." She said calmly, though her eyes are telling something different._

_He just scoffed then scowled and turned his back to her again then lifted his arms. Hotaru smirked, loosened the bandages, bended a bit and started her work._

_

* * *

_

_As much as Ruka hated himself at that moment, he can't seem to stop looking at her hands working its way across his midsection up to his chest. He took note of how light her touches were, as it followed the bandages' trail, also, of how it was so delicate. He imagined it to be calloused and rough from all the work that she's doing-hammering metals, twisting wires and cables and other whatnots, and was surprised to find that it was the contrary. And for some odd reasons, he wondered, what would it feel like if she actually touches his chest. He was sure that it would feel like feather…simple, soft and… Wait! He shouldn't be thinking of her that way! She's The Imai Hotaru, his sworn mortal enemy that would wipe him out of existence._

_He was about to kick the very inappropriate though out of his mind when a very unusual feeling brought him back to reality. Aroused feelings brought by an innocent action. Just as Hotaru was about to finish wrapping his upper body, she lost the end of the bandage, making the wrap loose and in an attempt to catch the loosened end, caused her hands to brush his chest faintly, she probably didn't notice, be he most definitely did. As subtle as it was, the touch was enough for his heart to take off hysterically and for his breathing to be laborious and soon, beads of sweat were already forming on his forehead, welcoming the new sensation. Suddenly, he was aware of everything she does; her comforting warmth on his back; her arms almost enveloping his body and her slow steady breathing._

_He heard her sigh, and took the end of the bandage hanging loosely at his side and continued with her work. 'So much for wishing…' he thought and was aware of her hands, yet again. He caught her by surprise when he placed his hand over hers, to stop it, when it was venturing near his heart, afraid that she might feel the extreme drumming of it in his chest. But the move only made it worse, as he felt his face and body go warm. He looked at her and saw how shock flitted in her eyes before she raised an inquisitive eyebrow. That's where he realized what he's done, and cursed himself inwardly. He stared at her for a moment, trying to compose an answer._

_"The bandage…" he started his eyes never left hers, as well as her hands are still caged with his. "It's…tight." He finally managed to get out._

_Her face returned to its usual façade as she whispered a small 'oh', then her eyes directed to her hand held loosely by Ruka. He followed her line of vision and took his hands off, and lifted his arms again._

_'What the hell, Ruka!' he thought to himself as he can't wipe the now deepening blush on his flustered face. Little did he know that Hotaru also sported the same kind of blush when she felt a wave of electricity course though her body, the moment his hand held hers._

_Now, come to think of it…falling doesn't seem bad at all._

_

* * *

_

_When Natsume and Mikan 'officially' got together during their second year, everyone knew what consequences it would bring, especially to Ruka. It was on everyone's knowledge, even of Mikan, when Natsume, unable to hide anymore, told her that Ruka, was 'upset' because they got together when she asked as to why Ruka walked out when she announced the good news._

_Of course, that one was very much expected. Then it'll be followed by a sudden change of personality. It always does, right? Many guessed that he would be inconsolable for weeks, months even, years, maybe, before he finally accepts the fact that the two clearly belong to each other. Some believed, his classmates, especially, that he would eventually turn back to himself again, after some reflection and realization. He was Ruka, after all, the kindest and understanding person next to their dense Mikan. Others speculated that he would become cold an unapproachable, even to Natsume. He suffered too much already. This would be the last shot, after the so many ones he tried to ignore._

_So, imagine their initial astonishment when Ruka entered the classroom, all smiles, and took his usual seat in the back of the room, beside Natsume, only half of the class was there, excluding the couple. Immediate gasps and flagrant murmuring filled the room, while others settled to gaping like fishes._

_"What's wrong?" He asked, so casually as if nothing happened. The confrontation last week was non existent. Like everything was normal, when he noticed that he was the center of their unashamed attention. The room went silent, now everyone was unable to look at him. Yuu, was the one who decided to break it._

_"Uhmm, Ruka? Are you alright?" He asked hesitantly._

_The latter returned a curious stare, and then broke out into a smile. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" he said naturally. Yuu sighed in relief. Well, Ruka's smile seems so genuine, so maybe, he's really fine. He had the whole weekend to reflect about what happened and maybe, decided that there's no point in grieving over something that was never yours, or rather his for that matter. Yuu smiled at his good friend._

_"That's good." He said then went back to his seat._

_Unsurprisingly, the couple didn't show up in class. It was Hotaru that informed Mr. Narumi that the two wouldn't be attending for the rest of the day. Natsume wanted to give Mikan some free time to keep her mind off from the confrontation for a while and to cheer her up. Mr. Narumi completely understood. But they still weren't in for the biggest surprise of that day._

_

* * *

_

_If the astonishment from what happened on the morning wasn't enough, there definitely won't be any words for what they're feeling right now. It was during lunch time when they discovered that Rukas wasn't fine at all. They namely-Koko, Yuu, Kitsuneme, Mochu, Sumire, Anna and Nonoko were sitting on their usual place on the cafeteria. Having seeing Hotaru walk inside and remembered that she'll be alone since Mikan wasn't there, they invited her and she accepted graciously, in her own subtle way. They did the same when they saw Ruka, almost if he hadn't immediately taken his seat beside a redhead and some of their upperclassmen, which happened to be all girls._

_"Oh, maybe they have something to tell him. Anna said, lowering her hand as she was the one who waved at Ruka when he was scanning the area. Apparently, she wasn't noticed._

_"But what would they tell him?" Yuu interjected. Hotaru who was busy typing at her laptop raised her head and looked at them, not fully aware of their conversation._

_"I hope it's just the matter of telling something." Nonoko said, and then eyed Sumire, who was narrowing her eyes at Ruka's direction and the girl next to him. "What's up Sumire?"_

_"I know that girl," She said ignoring the question. "She's Shizuka, 3rd year…but, what would she want from Ruka" She suddenly asked. "I mean, she's not even a Somatic Type, right?' She referred to Yuu, who also looked in the direction._

_"Yes. She's a Latent Type. I see her during mixed classes." Yuu agreed to her assumption. Hotaru, who now knows what or rather who they were talking about as well, looked and true enough, Rukas was chattering too cheerfully with their upperclassmen. She blinked for a few times, her face emotionless, and then returned to her work. She didn't notice the strange look that Koko gave her._

_"Then what the hell is Ruka doing with those girls?!" Sumire exclaimed, only enough for them to hear._

_"Chill, Sumire!" Mochu patted her shoulder. "They must have a reason for calling him or it can be the other way around. Anyhow, I know Ruka knows what he's doing." He said and the others nodded in affirmation, except from Hotaru and Koko, who was already frowning, but the others don't seem to notice._

_"But why isn't he taking leave? " Obviously Ruka wasn't showing any signs of leaving. Sumire was getting edgier and edgier by the second. She doesn't have the silly stupid crush on him and Natsume anymore. If that's what you're thinking because of how she's acting. It's just that her cat-dog instincts are telling her that something is not right._

_They remained quiet fro a while, that is until, they saw Ruka drape arm around Shizuka's shoulder and pulled he closer to him. The girl didn't resist a bit. In fact she even seemed to enjoy it!_

_No one from their group dared to speak, their eyes disbelieving what they have just witnessed. Sumire slammed her hands on the table._

_"WHAT THE FREAKIN…mmhhmmp…" she started to shriek her lungs out, fortunately, Mochu was quick to cover her mouth and prevent her from any embarrassing situation. Too bad it wasn't fast enough for them not gain any audience. Yuu stood up and faced them._

_"Sorry about that! Please continue your meals." He said, then took his seat as fast as he finished. Sumire was still shrieking, although it was already muffled by Mochu's hand and was pointing toward Ruka's way. Hotaru glared at her for a moment because she disrupted her work, and sighed, then followed the direction where her fingers were pointing, and saw something which you cant see everyday. Aside from the arm draped around the girls shoulder, Ruka was now lusciously sniffing the girl's hair and whispered something to her ear that made the girl giggle like stupid._

_At that point, Hotaru experienced qualms on her insides. She wanted to strip her sight away from them, but her eyes are failing her. The qualms won't go away no matter how much she tried to calm herself on her mind. Thankfully, all through this her face didn't betray her. Her expression remained perfectly flawless. But it won't last long. She had to get out. She had to snap out of it. She had to…_

_"HOTARU! Snap out of it." Her breathing hitched a bit as she felt hands rocking her shoulders back and forth. She become alert again as she focused her sight on the person in front of her. Koko, Koko who was looking at her alarmed at the same time with some kind of pitiful understanding. She shook her head infinitesimally and repeatedly blinked, until she slump her shoulders. Only he and Anna, who was adjacent to her, saw what happened. The others were busy controlling Sumire._

_"What's wrong Hotaru?" The concerned Anna asked. "Are you feeling sick?"_

_Hotaru closed her eyes and massaged her temple, indicating that she's not feeling well._

_"You should take a day off." Koko said, but his tone was implying something more._

_"Koko's right." Anna approved. I'm sure Mr. Jinno would understand. We'll explain to him what happened, so don't worry." She said reassuringly._

_Hotaru took her hands off her head and opened her eyes again and looked at them. If Anna's was of pure concern, Koko's look was more…urgent. It's as if he wanted her to leave. She heeded this as warning._

_"Maybe I should." She mumbled, then shut her laptop close and arranged it in her bag and stood up. "Thanks." She said before she left. A relative shattering of something vital kept ringing in her ears as she quickly made her way back to her dorm, not sparing them another glance._

_

* * *

_

_Natsume got tired of Ruka's charades and shameless flirting, three months after he was branded an official player. They didn't expect that Natsume would last this long in holding back. The Black Cat wanted to punch Ruka, whether he's his best bud or not, senselessly, if not for Mikan who always act as his mediator. They empathize with him. After all, Ruka was treating him like a stranger. Maybe he would've handled it better if Ruka was to treat him as an enemy. At least Ruka recognizes him. But this…they can all but feel the flame of anger Natsume was emanating. Or maybe, that one is part of the many reasons, mostly focusing on Mikan. She has been so upset because Ruka wouldn't even talk to her, which send her to the verge of crying, but instantly repels it when Natsume starts to threaten them that he would beat the living daylights out of Ruka, and also their classmates who can, only but shake their heads whenever they heard something 'new' about Ruka. Clearly, things were getting worse._

_Ruka, found himself being pushed by his 'girl-of-the-day' in one of the lockers after the bell rung that signaled the end of the mixed classes. He smiled at the girl who practically threw herself into him._

_"What's up?" he asked, when the girl who was latching his neck advanced in an attempt to kiss him. Nope, he never gives kisses, and definitely not to this girl. He placed his hands on her shoulders in order to restrain her._

_"Oh, come on!" the girl pouted, un-cutely. "Let's just give them something to talk about." She said flirtatiously, twisting some of Ruka's hair in her fingers, then let it travel from his nape, down to his chest. Ruka wondered how far her hands would go if he hadn't stopped it and placed it back on her sides._

_"I would prefer if they talk about ME." He answered, her questioning expression, then lowered his face and gave the girls neck some light kisses._

_Some of the students started, some glared, and others looked blankly, while his friends looked apologetic, sighed and didn't stay longer. Yup, they really have something to talk about. They remained like that after sometime. He continued lavishing the girls neck relentlessly, shifting from light kisses, to licking weak spots, while the girl writhed in pleasure in front of him, when he suddenly felt heavy, or was burning a hole in him. He opened his eyes and saw that the people are slowly dispersing; due probably by the girls moaning which in his opinion was deeply disturbing. He was just kissing her, so why sound as if they were having sex?! Really, after all the people are gone, he's going to leave the girl done for. But the uncomfortable sensation only grew bigger, that he was forced to lift his head to check where that thing was coming from. Eventually, he came eye to eye with a certain raven haired girl, a few feet away from them…from him._

_Expect Hotaru Imai to send some bothering shivers down your spine when you lock gaze with her. She by far, is the person he knew to have such expressive eyes, though habitually empty, she makes sure she uses to her advantage especially if aggravating people. And that's exactly what she's doing right now. He was so sure that his eyes showed surprise and the slight parting of his lips could attest to that. There would be nothing in this world that he wanted more at that moment but be torn away from those enthralling eyes. But there's something in there that made him want to swim deeper and not to look away. He noticed that he was so rigid; she could be mistaken for a statue, if not for her chest, rising and falling with her every breath…and those eyes again. It was smoldering, burning with unspoken anger. It was…tortured, tired, spiteful, disgusted…and many more, but he was definitely sure that there's one word that could describe it. And before that he can say that, at that moment, the two of them only existed, or the world existed only for the two of them, she turned and walked away._

_All of a sudden, he felt dejected and revolted. He would've lingered in the feeling more if not for he girl, who was presently drawing circles in his arms. He blinked._

_"Ruka, what's the matter? Why did you stop, babe?" she asked. He looked at her threateningly, and pushed her away and decided to leave, leaving the girl, shocked and scared to her core._

_

* * *

_

_A very distinct sound of a hand colliding with a face echoed in the hallways. Everyone proceeded to what they would usually do when things like this happen, especially for the last three moths- stop and stare. But this time instead of glaring and murmuring with disapproval, everyone was motionless and was basically dumbfounded. They never imagined that all the drama would go this way. Never would they see that Ruka would be receiving a slap from none other than Hotaru. 'Why' was their entire question. They never dated! Never flirted, never ever had any close interactions up until now, for her to slap him. Or is there something that they didn't know? Even their classmates were beginning to doubt. They were all shocked as well. Mikan gasped and placed one hand on her mouth on Natsume's hand the other. Natsume smirked and it was evident in his eyes that Hotaru earned a new status of respect from him. And Koko was scrutinizing the both of the two._

_Time stood still for the both of them. Ruka was facing the side, hand on his swelling cheek, while Hotaru stood straight in front of him. He breathed deeply and then risked a look at her, hurt and anger marked his feature._

_"What…" he started, but she interrupted him, her aura getting colder._

_"I thought you're different…" she said and everyone stopped breathing to hear what she has to say next but she let it hung there. She turned away and left, the sound of her footsteps was sure to burn in their memories._

_Ruka on the other hand felt relieved rather than humiliated as he found the one word that he's been looking for. It was what he saw in her eyes during that day, and realized at the dawn of her words._

_Disappointment…_

_She was disappointed. He disappointed her, with the stigma that he has done. Though it brought an unsettling feeling at the pit of his stomach and a sharp pang at his heart, he forgot it momentarily. All the heaviness and guilt washed upon him, but the abnormal thing was, he doesn't care. It didn't matter. He was elated and finally awake. He felt so damn good that she slapped him._

_He wouldn't ask for a better wake up call than this._

* * *

Ruka woke up with a start, when he found himself doused in cold water that late morning. He sat upright and glared at the wretched person who dared disturb his sleep, only to see Natsume, smirk on his face, eyes bored but relieved, one hand on the pocket, the other, holding a stupid bucket.

"Glad you're awake, Sleeping Beauty." He jeered, amused.

"You could've wakened me up in a nicer way, Natsume." Ruka said as he stood up and shook some water off him.

Natsume started to walk off, and Ruka immediately followed.

"Why?" Natsume asked. "Would you have liked it better, if I burned your hair?" he said nonchalantly.

Ruka just scowled at him. "In that case, thanks a lot!" he said sardonically, ruffling his hair free from water.

Natsume ignored his sarcastic banter. "You expect me to be nice to you? After making me worry, because I found your room empty and no one has seen you and where you went off to, just to see you here snoring your ass out?" he said. Ruka would've smiled at his best friend's 'concern', if not for the next thing he said.

"Believe me, it wasn't reassuring, especially after what happened to Imai." He was walking casually, while Ruka stopped dead on his track.

"What happened to her?" he asked in a grave tone.

Natsume ignored him again, when Ruka caught up with him and placed a stopping hand on his shoulders.

"What happened to her?" he demanded.

"I'll rather have you see it for yourself, Ruka."

"Please Natsume." He begged. He never begged him like this before, but if he did, it means that he's really desperate.

"Fine, but change first. Frankly Ruka, you stink." He said.

"It was Ruka's turn to ignore him, but followed all the same. He doesn't care if his best friend thinks he stinks, he's worried about Hotaru. What had happened this time?

* * *

Ruka was streaming beautiful curses under his breath as he made his way back to the dorm…again. Apparently, dousing him with cold water, first thing when he woke up wasn't Natsume's only idea for a payback. After he finished his shower, he insisted that Natsume tell him what happened, but before his 'going to be ex-best friend' start, his stomach protested in hunger. He didn't know why he let Natsume made him eat first before telling the story, but after he did, Ruka was so sure that he threw up all he ate.

"Damn him. One of these days, I really have to put him in his place." He said angrily, slamming his door and proceeded immediately to the bathroom, where his thoughts led into depressing one.

'Hotaru couldn't possibly do that…' he thought, as he mindlessly filled the tub with warm water.

'She can't. She wouldn't, even faced with so much pressure…she simply wouldn't, for Mikan's sake, at least.' He thought, disappointment painting his feature. Then he felt the water rush out of the tub, did his thoughts coursed back to where it was before.

'At least I don't have to see Natsume again. Who knows what other schemes he has on his sleeves?' With that he shrugged and took a quick shower.

Meanwhile, Hotaru was already glaring daggers at Mikan who was walking back and forth across the hospital room. She was irritated to hell by her dense best friend's footsteps resounding in her room.

"Where is he? He's supposed to be here, thirty minutes ago?" Mikan mumbled to herself. She stopped short when she heard Hotaru sigh and went to her side at once.

"Is something the matter? Are you hungry?" she asked. Hotaru just rolled her eyes on the infamous question that she's been hearing for every five minutes.

"I told you, I'm not." She said, resting her head on the pillow comfortably. Then a growling stomach echoed in the room. She looked at Mikan.

"Are you hungry?" she asked this time. Mikan blushed and looked at her, frowning.

"Mou… I am…but Natsume is not here yet. He said he's going to bring food." She wailed. Hotaru had to think of something to get rid of her. If she stopped walking, she would never stop talking…which in Hotaru's opinion is much worse than the annoying footsteps.

"Then why don't you just get it for yourself." She said, closing her eyes, already expecting her retort.

"But, Hotaru…I can't leave you alone." Mikan said indignantly but curled back when her stomach complained again.

"Go." Hotaru said. "You can always bring it here and eat here."

Mikan lighted up, but hesitated. "Are you sure you'll be alright?" she asked.

"Just go before your stomach eats you up." Hotaru said menacingly.

"HOTARU!" and with that she left.

Hotaru sighed. 'Great, she's gone.' She thought as she slowly tried to sit. Her eyes roamed the white room viciously. She hated being in there. The room was bringing out the worse in her, instead of helping her relax. After sometime, being positive that Mikan would be back a little later, she stood up, painstakingly, and went out; now's the time to be a bad girl and ignore the doctors recommendation to stay at her room for the meantime. She knows what she's doing and she knows what's best for her, if she wants to heal fast, and it's not staying in this room. She needs fresh air…badly.

* * *

A high pitched scream made Ruka…and Natsume run the rest of the hallway to Hotaru's room and to find Mikan disgracefully slumped on the floor, sobbing.

"Polka-dots, what happened? "Natsume, who was on her side, instantly, embraced her, learning Ruka on the doorway.

"Hotaru…" Mikan lamented. At this, Ruka's ears perked up and he was the one to ask.

"What happened, Sakura?"

"She…she…she's missing!" she wailed again.

"Calm down, Polka-dots…" Natsume said, in his own manner of comforting. "Start from the beginning." He said while patting her head, and helped her stand up, the food forgotten on the floor.

"Well," she sniffed. "I left her to buy some food since I was really hungry because you said that you'll be here, but you were late and…"

Ruka needn't more reasons to start sprinting and search for Hotaru. He passed through every hallways of that floor, and when found none; he proceeded to the lower level, until he was outside the edifice, running relentlessly. He never bothered to ask bystanders and other personnel if they happened to see someone with her feature. His legs gave up on him, when he was already at the back of the building. Breathing heavily and sweating profusely, he leaned on a wall for support.

'Hotaru, where are you?' he murmured, letting his eyes scan the area. Not long enough, he noticed a distinct bob of black amongst the green bushes. Without second thought, he dashed into the bushes, and came across the girl he's been looking for, reclined on a tree trunk, dozing off serenely. He sighed in case, quite positive that nothing terrible happened to her because of her position. He collapsed at her side with a laconic thud, and respired deeply, then tilted his head on his side, so he came face to face with Hotaru.

It's true that she's not much of a beauty, but for him, it is breathtakingly enough; she's outstandingly intelligent anyway. She may not be the friendliest person you'll ever meet, but she's the sincerest friend you'll ever have. She's cunning, unpredictable and revengeful, but for some twisted reasons, those are few of the things that he loved about her.

He smiled at this thought and placed a hand on her cheek and caressed it tenderly. How he wished that they could stay like this forever. He closed his eyes and matched the rhythm of her breathing, savoring every moment before it's gone.

He was contentedly stroking when he felt a hand rest on his arm. He opened his eyes and predictable met hers that was bearing innocence and curiosity. He blinked distractedly for several times before realizing that their proximity is too close for comfort and instantaneously jerked away from her. She flinched and seemed to back off a little as well.

"I'm sorry." Ruka said. "I didn't mean to startle you."

She looked away for a moment. "What are you doing here, Nogi?" she asked her voice soft but her eyes intent.

"I-I was looking for you."

"Why?" she pressed.

He was starting to come up with an answer before he remembered his mission.

"I should be the one asking you that." He said with a hint of accuse. "What are you doing here and moreover, why were you confined?" he asked, miffed. "Sakura was crying because you were missing."

He bit his tongue when he saw her lowered her head and appeared disheartened. Did he say something wrong?

"Ho-Imai?" he asked uncertainly.

"Of course." She said, and then mumbled, "It's because of Mikan…"

"What?"

"Nothing." She said, looking at him in the eyes squarely. "I should probably just go back." then motioned to stand up, if not only for the sharp pang that coursed on her insides, particularly at her chest. Ruka was swift to catch her, as now she is in his arms, head on his shoulder, her fast intake and outtake of air fanning his neck.

"Be careful now." He said, fighting the blush that was decorating his cheeks. And they stayed like that for a while. She wasn't pulling herself up and he wasn't initiating a push.

She pondered for a while, having loving being held on by the guy she loves and hating it at the same time, and because she knows that it all meant nothing to him. Her voice wouldn't ring in his head like his was ringing in hers; her thin line of a smile wouldn't make him smile as his would always make her whenever something remind her of him; her eyes wouldn't hunt him, even in his sleep like his was her constant companion in her dreams; and her 'warmth', if ever she has one, or is one, wouldn't make him wish that they could be this way for eternity like his was making her crave and hope fervently for more.

She used to blame him for making her feel the emotions she felt and is still feeling. She tried to hurt him, but it backfired tremendously on her as she found out that she couldn't, she wouldn't, and ended up asking herself, and him of what's happening to her. Dreadful for showing instability and vulnerability, she ran away with a broken heart and tortured mind, tried to seek comfort in the cold water and where did it get her?; In that forsaken room, with white washed walls.

Convinced that she's got to stop all her madness, she resolutely agreed to risk everything that they have now. May it be successful or not, may he accept it or not, at least she would achieve the peace of mind that she was searching for. She can always move on, hopefully, and this wouldn't have to add up on the list of the things that she would regret later on in life.

Drawing courage that she never had before, she spoke in a not too demanding or not too desperate voice.

"Do you think it's possible for you to love someone like me?"

He went stiff at her words. Now that was unexpected. 'Of course." He would have wanted to say severely. 'Because I do...' But that didn't sound right. He's not even sure if she feels the same way, ad why did she ask such question.

"Wh-why are you asking that?" he stammered.

"Please just answer it, R-Ruka…"

You wouldn't know how excited he felt when she uttered his name. it made him want to pull her closer and hug her tightly but he can't let his feelings get in the way for it may ruin the little happiness that he's experiencing right now, for he was so certain that it would be even harder to get where he is now. But she wants an answer, and he wouldn't want to give her something that she would just think of 'out of pity'. Damn, if he'd only listened to Koko and formulated a well articulated speech of undying devotion, this wouldn't be so hard. He needs to answer; his conscience wouldn't let him off easily if he didn't. He sputtered in his mind on the lines that he was thinking of saying to her, but if it didn't sound so cheesy, it sounded like it came out straight from romance novels. Without having anything better to say, he just sticks to the first thing that came to his head.

'It's now or never…' he chanted in his though, and then took a deep breath.

"Of course." He said, trying to be smooth. "Because I do…" There, dropped the bomb. He shut his eyes firmly, waiting for her backlash.

He felt her tear away from him, although he wants her back in her arms, he resisted the urge to, behaving himself. She didn't say anything. When the uneasiness of her quietness became unbearable, he dared to open her eyes and see her reaction. Unprecedented shock shook him when he saw something he never had the nerve to imagine.

She was crying; she was looking hurt and joyous at the same time, but still, she was crying and he regretted having opening his mouth. However cute she was to marvel at, it bugged him and tormented him that she was crying because of him.

"Why are you crying?" he asked desperately, cupping her face between his hands and bringing it a little closer. The excruciating feeling leveled up when she didn't answer and more tears flowed as she was nearing breaking down.

"Damn it Hotaru! Why are you crying? Don't do this to me!" he exclaimed in despair.

"D-do you really mean that?" she croaked in a very un-Hotaru like fashion.

"Of course!" he exclaimed again, and then wiped her tears. "Of course." He repeated softly, but it didn't comfort her, instead it sent her to a frenzied fit of sobbing. He couldn't think of anything else to do anymore, so he just grabbed her into an embrace.

"Why are you crying?" he asked again.

"I-I never thought…I know that it's impossible for you to love or even like someone like me…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." It came out muffled but he heard her anyway.

He pushed her to get a good look on her face and hoping that if she sees his, it would persuade her to believe that what he's saying is true.

"Look at me." He started. "It's not impossible. You deserve it. And you shouldn't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. I should be the one doing what you're doing."

"But…"

"It doesn't matter, alright? I'm here, I'm yours…and I love you! I don't know why, but I do."

"But…"

He didn't wait any longer as he crashed his lips into hers, her tears mixing with his as his body was itching to be near to her. She didn't protest nor made a move to pull away, but she granted his wish as she pulled him closer, her hands gripping his back and his hair, her lips responding in his kiss with fervor.

He deepened the kiss more in an attempt to describe how overwhelmed he felt when she held onto him. As much as they wanted to dwell on the kiss a little longer, they detached from each other, though his hands remained on her cheeks, while hers were on his shoulders.

"You can reject me if you want." He said, bumping their foreheads together. "But please, don't disbelieve it when I say that I love you, because I truly do. You don't know how I wanted to have you by my side; to kiss you, to hug you…Y-you don't know how much I longed to call you mine… he confessed.

This time, she was the one to instigate the kiss, by bringing him closer and circling her arms around his neck.

"I believe you…" she said in between their kiss. "I love you too…

* * *

All the angst, all the heartbreaks that once submerged in the cold water, all the depressions were forgotten when they consumed their selves in this passionate happiness. Sometimes, it just takes a lot of courage and hope. Finally, these reluctant hearts, which were too proud and too scared to love, found their place where they truly and will forever belong.

The End

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If you're wondering, what the first two stories (the ones in italicized...yup, them...) are, let's just say they're..."the start of it all". It's just a little insight on their past and how they came to be, although I know that it doesn't have any connection with the main plot...but I do hope you liked it... that's the fluff, or semi fluff, that I've promised you guys...oh well, enough of my rambling...

PLEASE KILL ME!!! KILL ME NOW!!! I beg you!

**This is, as you can see, my poor attempt to write a story with a melodramatic, puke inducing ending…so please, if you're willing to kill me without batting an eyelash…please do! Embarrassment will do the job if you won't! But then again, I guess I'll just have to swallow it up…Please, oh, please, review this one… My life depends on it now…hahahahahahahahaha…anyway, again…THANK YOU! You're such beautiful people to have supported me this long. Thank you very much!**

**This is going to be my last author note for the year…er, well let's all hope that I'll be back in business after adjusting to college life.**

**I guess this is it, minna? Hope that you enjoyed reading this one!**

**Keep up the good work always and Stay safe!**

**Lots of love,**

**Spring Emerald**


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